


Awake from this Dream (I Hold my Breath and Just Believe)

by TheTimeTraveler24



Series: Rebuilding Audrey [1]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21587494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimeTraveler24/pseuds/TheTimeTraveler24
Summary: Post D3. Audrey is learning to cope with the weight of her decisions. Mal and Ben want to protect her. The problem is that she doesn't want to be protected. Or rather, she doesn't feel like she deserves to be protected.
Relationships: Audrey & Ben (Disney: Descendants), Audrey & Evie (Disney: Descendants), Audrey & Mal (Disney: Descendants), Audrey/Harry Hook, Ben/Mal (Disney: Descendants), Doug/Evie (Disney: Descendants), Jane/Carlos de Vil
Series: Rebuilding Audrey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563481
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	Awake from this Dream (I Hold my Breath and Just Believe)

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from the song Middle of Starting Over

No one really knows exactly what happened. How can they? After all, once she cast the sleeping spell and the stone spell, no one was really conscious enough to remember she did it. So when the barrier comes down and Mal gives her little speech about how without Hades (who was apparently her father?) she, Audrey that is, wouldn’t be alive, there’s a painful tug on her heart. Everyone cheers for her safety, and what reason do they have not to? All they know is that she’s the devoted and adored princess set to inherit her parents’ kingdom.

Audrey doesn’t get the reaction she expected. The reaction she probably deserves. No one shouts to lock her away on the Isle. No one throws rotten fruit at her. They cheer and clap. And, yeah, Jane won’t look her in the eyes anymore, and Carlos and Jay are a lot more cautious around her, but Mal is only too happy to be extra nice to her. It’s awkward, but no less than she deserves.

Unfortunately for her, the King and future Queen have to give a press conference about the efforts to merge the Isle’s now former inhabitants into the Auradon way of life. Ben and Mal explain their VK council to act as the voice for the Isle and the go between for at least the beginning. And she waits ever so patiently in the wings for the inevitable question.

“Who was behind the sleeping spell?” one reporter finally had the guts to ask.

Audrey has to hand it to him. He waited a good fifteen minutes before asking. She would have asked as soon as Ben and Mal appeared. But it’s no use thinking about that because Audrey knows who was behind the spell. She swallows and steps out.

“Excuse me,” she says in what she had thought to be a confident voice, but even as she speaks, she can hear the wobble in her voice.

Mal is looking at her in alarm, and Ben ever so slightly puts himself in front of his fiance.

Audrey steps up to the podium and stares at the cameras. It's now or never.  _ You deserve this, _ she tells herself.  _ Mal is never going to sell you out because she knows the guilt, but you deserve this. _

“I have something to say about that,” Audrey says, voice cracking in a very unlady like way. Grammy would be upset. “Regarding the stealing of the Queen of Auradon’s crown and Maleficent’s Scepter.”

_ You can still feel it’s taunting pull. _ Audrey has to shake her head to clear those thoughts from her mind. She focuses back on the audience she has and vaguely thinks they must think her crazy.

“Yes, they were stolen and yes, the person who stole it used the Scepter to cast the sleeping spell,” Audrey confirms.

Next to her Mal and Ben seem to understand what she is doing if their subtle attempts to stop her from going through with this were anything to go by.

“I know Mal and Ben would sugarcoat this story, and for that, I am so very grateful for them, but it’s not a story that deserves their sugarcoating,” Audrey says, voice quivering with fear. “Because the stupid girl who stole the crown and scepter was me. I placed the sleeping curse on Auradon and I turned some people to stone. You all cheered for me when Mal said how Hades saved me, but I didn’t deserve your praise. I deserved shouts and angry words.” She swallows, seeing the shock on all the faces of the reporters and camera crews. “So there you have it. I did it. Thank you for your time.” She walks calmly off to the side.

The shouts that erupt behind her aren’t her concern. But Ben and Mal are because they follow her.

“What did you do that?” Mal. Of course she asks that.

Audrey spins around. “Because I deserve to be hated. No, what I deserve is to be sent to the Isle, but you can’t do that anymore because the villains are in Auradon anyway now. So if I can’t go anywhere without someone shouting at me, that’s what I want.” Her composure slips and she dissolves into tears. “I hurt the whole kingdom because I couldn’t handle my boyfriend breaking up with me! And after the break up, I thought I would be okay, but I wasn’t. I was still good then, though. Now… now, I’m damaged goods. I should be punished, but if you two won’t do it, I have to make sure it happens myself.”

Ben reaches for her hand, and gods how she wishes she could go back to when that meant something special for them. “I’m so sorry, Audrey. Obviously at the time Mal was hardly going to apologize and, well, with the love spell and all… it never occured to me that I hurt you.”

“The funniest part of the whole thing is that we never really loved each other,” Audrey interrupts. “I mean, I don’t think it was ever real, Ben. Even without the spell… I saw the way you looked at Mal when she first arrived.” She shakes her head because that was where it all began. She had been so jealous of what Ben and Mal had before they even really knew each other. “I was just stupid enough to throw away my life over a boy.”

And the people in the town try not to judge her, but she never goes anywhere alone. She drags Mal with her sometimes, or Evie if she’s going shopping. Harry Hook seems to turn up wherever she goes, too.

The side eyes aren’t too bad. The whispers that follow her sting a little. The thing that hurts the most is what her friends think. When Evie drags her into a new dress shop because the fashion forward VK assures Audrey that a new dress is the way to make anyone feel better.

Three other girls are in the shop and they freeze when they saw Audrey. Audrey freezes too.

“The Queen of Mean herself,” one of the girls snorts.

“Anxelin,” Audrey whispers.

Anxelin (daughter of Rapunzel and Eugene) tosses her long blond hair over her shoulder. Flanking her is Melody (daughter of Ariel and Eric) and Neva (daughter of Elsa).

Neva is cold like her and her mother’s power. She sneers at Audrey.

“You should come with us, Evie,” Melody suggests. And isn’t that a ridiculous (don’t think of Ben’s silly song) thing to suggest because everyone knows Evie’s not one to do the fake friends thing ever since Chad Charming tried to pull that over her. It makes Audrey marvel at how well she knows her new friends because maybe not everyone knows and doesn’t this just make her more special? “Why are you even hanging with her?”

Evie glares at them. “In case you’ve forgotten, the scepter possessed Audrey. Since people like you seem to forget that all the time, someone needs to support Audrey.” She crosses her arms. “Besides, why would I  _ want _ to be caught dead associating with you? I’ll stick to my kind, compassionate, and genuine friends thanks.”

The temperature drops. Neva is apparently not very good at controlling her powers because the rage on her face is echoed by the temperature drops.

Evie clearly senses danger, but keeps her cool. She turns to Audrey and loudly says, “Why don’t we got back to my place? I could make a dress a hundred times better than the ones we can find here. Oh, and remind me to speak to Ben about seeing how to make sure Anxelin, Melody, and Neva will never be able to purchase, wear, or recieve an article of clothing that was made by Evie’s 4 Hearts or something made based off my designs.” She pauses for effect. “So that would mean no knock offs of course which means they would only be able to wear…” she eyes the three now worried girls. “Well, I suppose they’d be dressing a lot less nicer than they do now. Perhaps Cinderella’s maid outfit?”

With that Evie leads Audrey from the shop where the two girls laugh.

“What can I say?” Evie says smugly. “I’m a VK.”

And for now, the simple act of deviousness is enough to make Audrey feel better. Because now she recognizes the good, the bad, and all the shades in between. So they go back to Evie’s place because gods know Audrey isn’t welcome at her own home anymore. Grammy made that quite clear.

The next time Audrey brings Evie into town with her, no one says a word about Audrey’s presence. Apparently they believe Evie has enough sway to get Ben and Mal to ban people from her clothes.

Audrey tries to constantly stay around people because if she were to let herself be alone (alone in her thoughts), then she fears she would finally succumb to the barely there nagging pull that she just  _ knows _ is the scepter’s call. The anger that first pulled her there is no longer bubbling at the surface, so she can’t for the life of her figure out what kind of pull the scepter has on her now, but whatever it is she doesn’t want any part of it.

No, this wasn’t worth it. The price she was so willing to pay all those weeks ago was too much for her to bear. Because she wasn’t friendless, Audrey realized. If only she hadn’t been such a stuck up princess, she could have leaned on Ben as a friend, and she could have made amends with Mal because gods the friendship she has now with Mal and Evie is so good and much more than she deserves from them.

So it’s with carefully executed watching and observing that leads Audrey to finally admit what she’s been hiding from the rest of them.

“Mal? How did you feel after the coronation after you held the wand?” she asked to start.

Mal almost seemed to be expecting this question, so maybe Audrey wasn’t as good at hiding what was going on in her mind.

“The wand wasn’t like the scepter,” Mal finally tells her, and isn’t that just the biggest let down. She gives Audrey a sad look. “I took the wand out of Jane’s hands. It accepted me. The scepter called you. It’s still calling you.” Her eyes take on a strange glint. “I’m curious about that, and I didn’t want to bring it up until you were ready. The scepter let you touch it. When I touched it, I nearly ended up taking a thousand year nap.”

A thousand year nap? That’s right. Because didn’t they all learn the history of their parents’ stories growing up. Maleficent’s Scepter, the Dragon Eye, would put anyone who touched it into a deep sleep. Mal had touched it before? The Isle maybe? Audrey pushes her thoughts away and exhaled slowly.

“I did go into a deep sleep though,” Audrey tries to point out.

Mal shakes her head. “That was because of me. Dad told me that the ember wouldn’t do everything it does for him for me because I’m only part Hades.” She shrugs. “For whatever reason, you can touch her scepter and not be harmed. It controlled you because you didn’t understand it’s power.”

No. She doesn’t like where this conversation is heading. Audrey isn’t going near that thing. Never again. So she leaves.

But Mal’s got her thinking now, so when she closes the door to her room in the castle that Ben and Mal graciously invited her to stay in, she lays down on her bed and closes her eyes to the picture of the scepter.

It should have come as a shock when she is shaken away by Mal and Ben. The scepter is gone, and they had to make sure she didn’t take it. Mal not for lack of trying attempts to say this in a more roundabout way (it doesn’t work). But it wasn’t a shock because last night she called the scepter in her dreams and when Audrey sits up she can see the scepter leaning against the desk in the far corner.

Mal takes care of it and returns it to its hiding place, but nothing Ben says is helping Audrey calm down. She needs a distraction.

Lonnie very reluctantly agrees to give Audrey self defense lessons because according to Jay and Harry, fighting takes the mind off things and gives you a way to vent. She trusts them for whatever reason. Maybe because her and Jay had that small fling right after the coronation and maybe because in another time she could see herself as more than a friend to the son of Hook. Whatever the reason is, Audrey throws herself into this because if she can focus on something else, maybe the scepter will stop calling her and maybe she can get on with her life.

She takes to the whole self defense thing quite well which surprises Mal and Evie whose initial impression of her was non violent. Well, physically. But they don’t say anything about it, and instead give her a few pointers they learned on the Isle (which raised some questions, but she doesn’t press them).

Lonnie’s impressed by Audrey’s success, and moved on to teaching her fighting techniques. It’s all very warrior oriented, and Audrey almost thinks that if all else fails, she could probably get Lonnie’s mom to allow her to join the army. Because her family abandoned her to the daughter of their worst fear. And Audrey knows Mal isn’t like her mother, but Grammy still thinks that and it hurts that Grammy didn’t even care anymore.

Time slips by and suddenly it’s been nearly a year since the incident and Evie’s makeup brushes are flying across Audrey’s face as Dizzy Tremaine styles her once again dark brown hair (because the lighter brown with pink and blue held too much memories) in princessy waves.

Dizzy suddenly squeals as the door to the room they’re in opens and in comes Mal, all prim and proper in her white wedding dress which doesn’t suit the purple haired woman at all, Audrey thinks.

“Very funny, E,” Mal says, not sounding very amused.

Evie giggles, but gestures to the closed closet.

When Mal opens it, a different white dress is revealed, and Audrey can safely say this one already looks much more like Mal. The skirt is puffed out like a princess ball gown, and Audrey guesses that was an Evie stipulation to make the dress. The top of the dress is all leather though, and where Mal’s leather jackets would be full of metallic spikes, the leather dress was adorned with glittering diamonds. It was long sleeved naturally, but the back had a tulle film that shimmered.

“Thank you,” Mal says darkly with an eye roll at Evie. “You look great, Audrey.”

And indeed she did. Audrey’s gown was not as full or puffy as Mal’s, but it puffed out slightly in the skirt. She had opted out of the pink color Evie had wanted to make it out of in favor of a dark golden gown. Pink, blue, and green had been cast from her wardrobe a year ago.

The wedding is cute and so incredibly perfect. Mal and Ben only chose to have a maid of honor and best man, so Evie and Doug were the only two in the wedding with them. Audrey has a sneaking suspicion that Ben would have picked Chad as his best man if not for Evie being Mal’s obvious choice for Maid of Honor.

Harry dances with her and it is so incredibly magical that for those brief moments of song, Audrey can forget about the scepter’s pull. She dances and laughs with Ben and the VKs, and somehow Dude escaped Carlos long enough to get into the alcohol because the dog is definitely drunk and she can’t remember if that’s bad, but it sure is hilarious to listen to.

For Auradon’s most perfect couple, it must be a perfect wedding and reception, so as everyone gets ready to leave, the sky lights up and it has to be the most amazing thing she’s seen in forever. The shooting stars twinkle and the light fills Audrey with so much hope.

“What are you wishing for?” Harry’s voice asks in his heartstopping accent.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true,” she says, but really, she has no idea. She would love to take back everything she did, but then she’d still be that angry girl. She certainly wouldn’t have become friends with Mal or Evie, and the fact that she feels sad about that tells her how far she’s come in her journey. She’d love to make everyone forget about what she did, but she was the one to tell them in the first place.  _ Because you thought you deserved the world’s hate _ , she reminds herself.

But she desperately wishes she could start over. She wants this to be a dream to wake up from and use as a guide in the morning when the four VKs arrive at Auradon because she’s definitely hoping it is a dream the night before they arrive or even the night after because then there’s still time to fix the damage she caused.

No such luck because she opens her eyes and the shooting stars have stopped. Figures they would once she figured out her wish.

Mal and Ben are gone. Off on their honeymoon to who knows where. Knowing them, they probably went camping or skydiving. Mal loves adrenaline and Ben loves whatever Mal loves.

Evie and Dizzy ride with Audrey back to Evie’s place. On the way, Audrey muses over her observations from the wedding. The abundance of VKs was expected, and Hades as Mal’s dad was also expected. The reaction towards them was not what Audrey expected. Her own experiences had lead her to believe it would have been a night of staring daggers between the Auradonians and VKs, but most people seemed to be okay with the VKs. Just not Audrey.

It was heartbreakingly painful to admit that maybe the betrayal of one of their own was too much for anyone to forgive. And it’s not fair.

So when she goes to sleep, Audrey drifts off with wet cheeks and tear stained pillows.

The morning is bright, and to her relief there’s no pull of the scepter. Although, she’s back in her dorm room and that can’t be right. Didn’t she go back to Evie’s after the wedding? It was all a haze though, so she couldn’t really be sure.

There was a time she cared what she looked like, but as Audey walks out of the dorm room in her pink t-shirt and shorts, she could hardly care less what anyone thought. They whisper and point, but whispering and pointing is so last year. She’s over it now and she wants nothing more than to tell them that. But she doesn’t. She stumbles into the cafeteria for breakfast and who cares if she doesn’t go to school here anymore.

“Audrey?”

That voice is so wrong. The caring tone and the person it came from should not be speaking to her. But it might be someone else, so Audrey turns around and trips over a chair. She catches herself (apparently Lonnie’s agility training helps in these situations) and frowns at Ben.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, genuinely curious because if he says he dumped Mal for her, that would just peachy wouldn’t it?

Ben looked confused, and Audrey noticed his hair looked much different. “Well, we’re supposed to meet the kids from the Isle in twenty minutes. Aren’t you going to get ready?”

Meet the what? And in her mind she remembers the wish she made, but she hadn’t really believed it would come true.

“Right,” Audrey blinks. She pulls Ben out of the cafeteria and off to her dorm because if this is really a second chance then she’s going to milk it for all it’s worth.

“What’s going on?” Ben asked her, confused.

Audrey braced herself because she didn’t want to say it, but it was inevitable with Mal and her friends on the way.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Audrey finally said. “And it’s not because of your proclamation,” she assured him quickly, “because, Ben, you are going to be a great king because of it and you’re going to be happy too. But I know you don’t love me, and although it took awhile for me to realize it, I don’t love you either.” Her heart is pounding, and that’s stupid because for her, they haven’t dated in ages. “At least not romantically. I’d still like to go with you to meet them though, if you’re okay with that?”

Ben stares at her, but he nods and squeezes her hand. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“No,” Audrey says with a shake of her head. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” She jumps into the bathroom to throw on her pink dress and blue sweater because gods it feels good to be herself again.

Ben holds the door open for her as they make their way down to the school courtyard where they can see a limousine is about to arrive.

“Oh! Ah! Ow! Stop! You got everything else! Why do you want whatever this is?” Carlos screams as he and Jay tumble out the door.

Jay is grinning as he says, “'Cause you want it!”

And Audrey watches the scuffle with interest this time and she notes the careful way Jay makes sure Carlos knows it’s all in good fun. Because she knows the Core 4 have a close bond and how could she not see it before?

“Hello, foxy,” she registers Jay saying. “The name's Jay.”

She doesn’t snort like she did before, and instead gives him a small smile. But she does watch Mal’s face as Fairy Godmother talks and gods it’s so obvious when you know to pay attention. What was Mal thinking by asking so blatantly about the wand?

“It's so good to finally meet you all. I'm Ben,” her now ex-boyfriend said warmly.

Audrey doesn’t interrupt him, and Evie never gets a reason to say she’s a princess, so Audrey doesn’t have to worry about that just yet.

“I’m Audrey,” she introduced herself. No titles. And no nicknames.

She hears Fairy Godmother tell the VKs about showing them around and curfew hours, and she vaguely hears Ben give his speech that took a whole six hours straight to perfect. She feels bad for not listening, but Mal has no qualms about giving her opinion.

“Or the day that you showed four peoples where the bathrooms are,” she says.

Ben chuckles. “A little bit over the top?”

Mal shrugs. “A little more than a little bit.”

“Well, so much for my first impression,” Ben says, and the ease of their back and forth conversation is envious for a moment.

“Um, you’re Maleficent’s daughter, right?” Audrey asks Mal. “I just wanted to say that I was against this at first. It took me a while to come around to this, but we aren’t our parents, and I hope there’s no hard feelings between us.”

It takes Mal a second to figure out what she means. “Sleeping Beauty’s daughter? Right. Yeah, sure, it’s cool,” she mumbled loud enough for Audrey to hear.

Ben at least looks happy. He begins the tour, and Audrey chimes in every so often. When they introduce the VKs to Doug, she doesn’t press the matter of going to Doug only.

“If there is anything you need, feel free to ask Audrey, Doug, or I,” Ben finished.

Something in Ben’s eyes was telling Audrey that Ben was hoping Mal would need something.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of making a sequel of Audrey's journey in the past. This story was just going to be about her learning to cope and go on with her life, but then I got to thinking about her going back and making things right. I also thought it fit with the title.
> 
> Is it a dream or is this a mind and soul time traveled back into her younger body fic? I'll let you decide.


End file.
